In the middle of the game where we were chatting randomly, Joce's punctuality issue was brought up 😂 As the BFF, I've seen the brunt of it over these past 9 years. Every time I need to meet Joce in the morning, I have to pray really hard that she does not oversleep or get too engrossed in whatever she was doing to notice the time. (She finds that looking at her phone is a burden! :0) I remember in our high school days, we were supposed to go when the library opens to chope seats, but Joce overslept a few times and was uncontactable, rushing to meet me in the nick of time for lunch, much to my distress.
Anyway, my bad luck in the past few rounds of the game proved enough to leave me in a foul mood :(
When Joce said that I, too, always go late for the fitness class we signed up for recently, I retorted meanly "the class can still go on without me what! If you are late, that means 20 minutes of waiting time at the mrt for me!"
Thinking that I would have let off some steam, I thought that I would feel vindication or relief, but instead, immediately, a wave of guilt swept over me. I felt that I was being uncannily mean.
The matter was left there and we suddenly just moved on like that. :0 The guilt was hard to bear but it would be so awkward to suddenly bring it up again and apologize there and then...
Throughout the rest of the hang out, I felt really distracted by the need to make amends as soon as possible yet was unable to... I was rather miserable but had to hide it or distract myself in case it showed.
It reminded me of a time years ago when i was younger and said something rude to my mum, and it took me a whole day before I mustered up the courage to apologize. Somehow putting down my pride to say sorry is not an easy thing for me.
Reflecting on this on the way home, I came to the conclusion that words have such an impact to hurt others and I really don't want myself to be a perpetrator of hurtful words. The regrets and guilt is just not worth it. There are many better ways to solve problems than to hurl reckless words.
The bible also reminds in Proverbs 12:18, "The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing".
Every time I feel the urge to say something I will likely regret, I hope this memory comes back in time to stop me.
So what happened to me and Joce? :)
....
When I finally apologized to her via whatsapp, it turned out that she didn't even take offense at my rantings in the first place LOL. Thank God for a friend that doesn't bear grudges! :)
No drama, "no hard feelings" :)
At least I can finally go to bed now with a peace of mind :)
